P.O. Box 19062 Huntsville, Al. 35804
By Bruce Walker @2016
With the economy the way it has been the last few years, many of us have changed professions, positions and paychecks! Up and down; the whirlwind of change has affected us. I enjoy listening with rapt attention to other’s stories of how their lives have changed. Many of us never envisioned we would be doing what we are doing to make a living at this stage in our lives.
My wife and I were eating in a little seafood restaurant on the Gulf Coast. The waitress was friendly and talkative. I asked her how she had got into “waitressing”. “Until the economic downturn of 2008, I worked in loss prevention at a big box multi-department store, oh the things I saw”, she said. “I was working in the meat section when a gentleman with a wide brimmed hat came walking toward me with blood streaming down both sides of his head. New to the job and alarmed, I immediately approached him and offered first aid, he refused and kept walking, thinking he had a traumatic head injury and in a state of shock, I called after him, “Sir”- I’ve just called the EMTs and they are on the way, please let me help you.” “He stopped, shrugged his shoulders, sighed and took off his hat and there on top of his bald head was a 5 pound pot roast!” “That’s not all”, she said, “I was working in the appliance department when I saw a lady wearing a long billowing dress, duck walking down the center aisle, she seemed to be in great discomfort, with each step she gave a little grunt”. I approached her, “You seem to be having difficulty walking, let me get you a wheel chair.” She ignored my suggestion and kept waddling. I said, mam, I’ve called the medics and the police and they are on their way to assist you.” She stopped, squatted, raised her long dress and gave birth to a Keurig Coffee Machine in the main aisle!” My wife and I laughed at her stories as she concluded, “Well here I am, still working in loss prevention; would you care for a double chocolate, twice-dipped, over-sized slice of German Chocolate Cake?”—she asked with a smile on her face.
Pumping gas on a cold February night in North Alabama, I was decked out in a heavy wool coat, gloves and a scarf wrapped around my neck. As I stood there waiting for my tank to fill, up roared a little sports car and a young lady jumped out in a t-shirt, shorts and flip flops, looking more ready for the beach than the snow that was beginning to fall. We made eye contact and I said, “You’re going to freeze standing out here pumping gas.” She replied, rather matter of factly, “Usually it takes $35.00 for me to fill up, but with gas this cheap, it only takes $15.00, so, I’ll be through in half the time it normally takes.” “Huh???” I thought, but I just smiled, said good night, and got in my car. Pay attention, you don’t know what story you are about to hear!
Bruce Walker chooses to see the humor in life’s events. In addition to writing a weekly syndicated column, he speaks regularly to a wide variety of groups. You may contact Bruce at firstname.lastname@example.org visit his website www.BruceStoryteller.com
Bruce Walker Storyteller-Humorist...... Funny with a Message